New Beginnings: Finding Your Calling

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.”
― T.S. Eliot

A Very Happy New Year to all the readers of Dew Drops. I’m slightly late but better late than never.

I wanted to do a checklist of 2016 highlights for myself. But with personal priorities things just don’t happen the way you plan. So, just for the sake of it I’ll list out some of the important highlights from 2016.

  • Guilt is something that can suffocate and kill you. I got rid of it by pushing myself once again to apologize and meet the friend in person. This meet was something that should have happened earlier. Much more than seeking forgiveness, the need was to forgive myself. The kind of introspective person I am, I am my biggest critic. And without forgiving myself it was absolutely impossible to move on.
  • Let go and feel less pain. Yes. I finally learnt to let go. I learnt that things are sometimes not in our control and we must accept it instead of trying to control. 2016 is the year that brought back a lot of turmoil in the personal life. And I am glad that the year is over. I happened to open up in unbelievable ways to my blog audience too. This also ended up rubbing some people from the family on the wrong side. Anyway, the pain and hurt which I have been carrying along has been thrown away or at least it has been kept aside after so many years. The head feels so much more lighter.
  • Defend Yourself Against Negativity and Negative People. Some people are not meant to be in your life. Even if it is at the cost of some other relationships. Be it friendship or family relations, you should not let anyone take you for granted. I realized that I was giving undue attention and importance to some of the relationships that do not even respect my intentions. I closed some of the doors that should have been closed long ago. Peace is always dearer than people.
  • Fight for Your Right. My regular readers know that I was struggling with Mom’s pension issues. Finally she started receiving her pension and other proceeds from June 2016. Nine months after retiring. The journey was not at all easy. We fought people. We fought procedures. We fought corruption. The one big lesson I learnt from Mom’s experience is that we should not be good at the cost of our own self-respect. And the other lesson, you have to fight your battle all alone. People who help you are either doing it unknowingly, by stroke of destiny, or because they want to gain something out of it. Be thankful. But don’t overdo it.
  • You’re your best helping hand. Nobody but you are capable of helping, healing and strengthening yourself. Discover yourself. Invest in yourself. Aspire to be a better you. Learn to love yourself. Learn to prioritize yourself. Self Love is the most important lesson that we were never taught in the name of selfishness. I spent a lot of time on charting out my interests and picking up the areas to focus. A humble beginning to this is the new blog Wings and Chirpswhere I’ll be focusing on few of my areas of interest including Mythology, Travel and Photography. I have started off with #MythicalMondays which helps me read mythological stories from various regions and understand the links between various regions of the country and of the world. The current blog, Dew Drops, which happens to be my alter ego, will continue with my personal journey.

2017 has arrived. And I sincerely wish it happens to be a productive and peaceful year for all of us. Peace to all those beautiful souls that we lost to 2016.

“Accomplishments don’t erase shame, hatred, cruelty, silence, ignorance, discrimination, low self-esteem or immorality. It covers it up, with a creative version of pride and ego. Only restitution, forgiving yourself and others, compassion, repentance and living with dignity will ever erase the past.”
― Shannon L. Alder

wordy-wednesday

Raise Kids as Independent and Logical Thinkers

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“Mamma, are Muslims bad?”

“Why? Why are you asking me this question? Who told you all this nonsense?”

“So-and-so told me that her mother has told her not to talk to this particular boy in our class because he is a Muslim and they are not good. She has also asked him not to share food that the boy offers.”

“What do you think? Is that boy in your class bad? Does he harm you or anyone else in the class?”

“No. He is a good boy. Ma’am also likes him. He is a polite boy. He like to play with everyone.”

“What does that tell you? Is he good or bad?”

“He is a good boy.”

“Exactly. You already know what is right and wrong. I have also told you that your right may not be right for others. So don’t judge anyone by what you have heard from someone else. Try and learn to answer that question yourself based on your interaction with the person and what you know about that person. Nobody is perfect. We all have flaws. We all make mistakes. That does not mean that we are all perfectly right or perfectly wrong. Do you get this?”

“Yes. I understood.”

“Will you play with him? Will you share your things with him if he needs them?”

“Yes. I will.”

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This was a conversation I had with my EIGHT-YEAR-OLD a few days ago. Ever since I have been thinking about it and feeling extremely annoyed about how a parent was misleading their child against another innocent child.

Why the hell do we have to drag young and innocent minds into this dirty mess of religion, region, politics, racism, caste and gender?

Why can’t we let them be themselves?

Why can’t we let them develop their own perceptions on different aspects of life?

Why do we have to brainwash them?

As a mother I do understand the fears and worries of another mother. I myself do warn the girls about impending dangers from strangers. I warn them to be careful with people they know as well as people they do not know. But I have never told them to boycott another child because he was a bully, or because she was dark, or because he was from a certain community, or because she was from a family that supported a certain political party. What are we doing? Is there an end to this?

I know it was a personal decision of that mother and may be of their family but it left me fuming because I don’t like children being involved in these petty matters. We complain of young minds being radicalized or being brainwashed. What was this? If we continue to drag them into these, why should we complain about others?

I don’t support any such nonsense. If we really want to protect our children, we must teach them love, kindness, sharing, compassion and being sensitive towards others. We must teach them not to hurt others. We must teach them to respect another’s feelings and their properties. We must teach them to not bully others. We must equip them with wisdom to make out good from bad and right from wrong. Encourage them to use their logic to reach conclusions based on their experiences instead of forcing your own experiences on them. How can you proudly tell your child that a certain boy in the class is not good because he is a Muslim while you encourage your child when he tells you how he managed to knock down another child in the school?

 

What are your views on this?

Do you think children should be taught to judge others in this manner?

 

#WordlessWednesday #28 – Parental Love

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“Age is a seasoned trickster. To our parents, we will always be children. Within ourselves, the same yearnings of youth; the same aspirations of adolescence, will last a lifetime. Only to the young – blinded by our grey hair and slowing gait – do we appear old and increasingly beyond the pale.”

Alex Morritt, Impromptu Scribe

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