New Beginnings: Finding Your Calling

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.”
― T.S. Eliot

A Very Happy New Year to all the readers of Dew Drops. I’m slightly late but better late than never.

I wanted to do a checklist of 2016 highlights for myself. But with personal priorities things just don’t happen the way you plan. So, just for the sake of it I’ll list out some of the important highlights from 2016.

  • Guilt is something that can suffocate and kill you. I got rid of it by pushing myself once again to apologize and meet the friend in person. This meet was something that should have happened earlier. Much more than seeking forgiveness, the need was to forgive myself. The kind of introspective person I am, I am my biggest critic. And without forgiving myself it was absolutely impossible to move on.
  • Let go and feel less pain. Yes. I finally learnt to let go. I learnt that things are sometimes not in our control and we must accept it instead of trying to control. 2016 is the year that brought back a lot of turmoil in the personal life. And I am glad that the year is over. I happened to open up in unbelievable ways to my blog audience too. This also ended up rubbing some people from the family on the wrong side. Anyway, the pain and hurt which I have been carrying along has been thrown away or at least it has been kept aside after so many years. The head feels so much more lighter.
  • Defend Yourself Against Negativity and Negative People. Some people are not meant to be in your life. Even if it is at the cost of some other relationships. Be it friendship or family relations, you should not let anyone take you for granted. I realized that I was giving undue attention and importance to some of the relationships that do not even respect my intentions. I closed some of the doors that should have been closed long ago. Peace is always dearer than people.
  • Fight for Your Right. My regular readers know that I was struggling with Mom’s pension issues. Finally she started receiving her pension and other proceeds from June 2016. Nine months after retiring. The journey was not at all easy. We fought people. We fought procedures. We fought corruption. The one big lesson I learnt from Mom’s experience is that we should not be good at the cost of our own self-respect. And the other lesson, you have to fight your battle all alone. People who help you are either doing it unknowingly, by stroke of destiny, or because they want to gain something out of it. Be thankful. But don’t overdo it.
  • You’re your best helping hand. Nobody but you are capable of helping, healing and strengthening yourself. Discover yourself. Invest in yourself. Aspire to be a better you. Learn to love yourself. Learn to prioritize yourself. Self Love is the most important lesson that we were never taught in the name of selfishness. I spent a lot of time on charting out my interests and picking up the areas to focus. A humble beginning to this is the new blog Wings and Chirpswhere I’ll be focusing on few of my areas of interest including Mythology, Travel and Photography. I have started off with #MythicalMondays which helps me read mythological stories from various regions and understand the links between various regions of the country and of the world. The current blog, Dew Drops, which happens to be my alter ego, will continue with my personal journey.

2017 has arrived. And I sincerely wish it happens to be a productive and peaceful year for all of us. Peace to all those beautiful souls that we lost to 2016.

“Accomplishments don’t erase shame, hatred, cruelty, silence, ignorance, discrimination, low self-esteem or immorality. It covers it up, with a creative version of pride and ego. Only restitution, forgiving yourself and others, compassion, repentance and living with dignity will ever erase the past.”
― Shannon L. Alder

wordy-wednesday

Of Gadgets and Guilt

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This generation.

Our generation is probably the most unfortunate of all generations. I say this in the context of parenting. We have the wisdom inherited from our previous generations, a massive collection of parenting books and an enviable range of technology that advances every single second.

You may ask, “Aren’t these supposed to make us the most fortunate generation?”

I say, No. I refute this because along with these fortunes we also have issues like lack of time, lack of presence, deadlines even for dying in peace and an ever increasing guilt.

Our attention spans have reduced to such drastic levels that even though we wish to address certain parenting issues, and even though we already know the reasons behind those, and even though we know what areas to work upon, we are unable to do so. The reason being our short attention spans. We struggle to juggle between various facets of life. Unlike our previous generations that had dedicated time for every single task, ours is a generation that is drowning in the ocean of multitasking.

For example: at a given point in time, I am preparing dinner. I have also put the laundry in the washing machine because it is time for Delhi Jal Board water to come. I also have to check when water drips from the tap to switch on the electric motor pump. I also have to keep shuttling between the study-cum-living-cum-dining-cum-socializing room to attend to the girls and their studies. I also have phone calls from both set of parents to attend. My eyes have to keep a check on the wall clock to see if it is too late and the husband hasn’t reached yet. If it is late, I have to call and remind him that he has a family back home waiting for him. And in between all these, I also have my social life confined to the 5 inch screen of my ‘smartphone’ which is where I get my fifteen minutes of fame by posting a random picture or a random status. I have had days when my child has asked me a question while I am on phone and I have answered in affirmation whereas which is not what I was supposed to. I did it because I was answering my mother on the phone while listening to the child. Sigh!

The world is advancing exponentially and since we have to compete to remain relevant in the overall scheme of things, we have agreed to remove all foundations, break all rules and jump into the madness. We have deadlines to meet at work. We have commitments to keep. We have EMIs to pay. We have spouses to satisfy. We have parents to take care of. We have children to be responsible for. We also have gadgets to stay up to date.

What we lack is time. And thus we lack the ability to be present, the ability to be attentive, the ability to respond. We see. We listen. We understand. But our minds are so occupied with finished and unfinished tasks that we fail to address the moment that is here. We listen to our children but we don’t allow our brains to comprehend what they said. And that is the biggest mistake, the biggest sin that our generation is making.

We don’t need books, we don’t need parenting coaches, we don’t need simulative videos to teach us parenting. All we need is attentiveness. So put that phone, iPad or Laptop away when your child wants to speak with you. They hardly need a few minutes for your presence to be felt. If you’re in the midst of something, request for a few minutes that they will graciously allow. But keep everything away and be fully present and responsive in those moments with them. It is their right. The guilt will stay away along with the gadgets.

As addicted as I am to my smartphone, I have finally found a solution to my problem. I switch off Wi-Fi when I am with the girls or am doing some serious work. Everything else can wait, but not the children. They will grow up. They’ll spread their wings. And finally, they’ll fly off our nests. Let them fly off with some beautiful memories of the time spent together. Let them know that we care. Let them know that we are present.

A simple lesson learned the hard way.


Linking it to Blog-A-Rhythm’s Wordy Wednesday #2-Feb 2016 #PhrasePrompt

I have used the phrase ‘Fifteen minutes of fame’.

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