Cobweb of Human Relationships – #BarAThon Day 2

Have you ever wondered about the complexity of human relationships?

Have you ever tried to look at a relationship from above the ground?

Such complex confusingly woven web it is.

What’s that one important factor that can help (to a large extent) save/mend complex human relationships?

Relationships are like cobwebs. Tightly woven with delicate strings. A slight push by an external force or a wind from the wrong direction can disturb the balance. Many a times, quite a few strings get broken midway through the journey. The people involved have to be extra careful and equally concerned to keep the strings attached.

Once broken, some of the ties can be mended with efforts from both the parties. But if only one side keeps trying to mend the broken ties, the knot will only get thicker and thicker. Thus obstructing transparency and increasing the load towards one direction. Such relationships finally break beyond repair creating a huge wall that even the wheels of time aren’t able to break. The worst part is that they affect other healthy relationships too.

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If two individuals are bound to be present in a relationship, there will be differences, repentance, regrets and the likes. And we have seen people breaking the bridge of communication to avoid further regrets. This I believe is the biggest mistake we all make. Do anything. Fight. Accuse. Abuse. Do whatever. But do apologise. Do forgive. And never ever stop communicating.

The moment you stop communicating, there’s no point in faking a relationship. It’s over. Accept it. Or else, the old wounds will keep stealing and scavenging on the relationship. Talk it out. Maybe there’s something you both aren’t aware of. Something that you’ve been missing. What you don’t know is mostly the reason behind fall outs. Communication, open and transparent, might help recognise these negative triggers and isolating them. Thus saving a relationship from a disastrous end.

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I am with Team #CrimsonRush for the #BarAThon from 1st to 7th August 2016.

This post if written for the prompt ‘what you don’t know‘ for August 2, 2016.

barathon

I wish I could name what I am trying to define…

Some links in the chain are not meant to be together for long. However much you try, those links either slip away or are broken. After multiple attempts of repairing you let it go and move on with a completely new set of links. And that’s when something or the other brings back the same episodes all over again. Again and again, refusing to let you move on without them, their memories. The chain, though absolutely complete with new links, still keeps the memories of the broken links fresh in its soul.

It’s the same case with people. Some relationships are not meant to last long. Your paths cross for a very little time to let you make memories that last a life time. There may not be anything wrong with the people involved. There may not be anything wrong in their circumstances. There may not be anything wrong with their families. Still something keeps the relationship from continuing. So much that you have no choice but to move on against your wishes. There is no regret. There is no anger. There is no guilt. There are no complaints. Still a sweet pain lingers on. The spark still fresh in their hearts. No! It is not love anymore. It is not friendship either. It is not anything but a relationship that has evolved into a kind of worship. Worship because you know each other like life and consciousness. Because you respect your choices. Because you are inseparable through age, time and distance. Crossing boundaries that don’t matter. Your heartbeats can recognize each other’s like they are the notes of the same rhythm.

A message, a missed call, an old picture from the album, a piece of torn clothing, an old notebook, a few underlined words, some bold letters, an unexpected incident, a certain fragrance that comes along with the breeze, a particular place, a break in the middle of a journey is all it takes to trigger the remnants of the past. And you know that the memory, that person, that place, that experience, that age, you could never really leave behind. It’s woven into your soul as if they were always an irremovable part of you.

Merged like two consecutive waves of the sea that drift apart into different oceans. Only to meet again and again when the oceans meet at some points in time. No. They don’t long to be together. They don’t wish to meet, talk or chat. An occasional ping from a distance just to know about your well-being. Their prayers are incomplete without each other. Their day doesn’t end without a glimpse of your memories. However much you try, you cannot get them out of your life. Is it because they are your life? Is it because you never really parted ways? Is it because this is how you were meant to be together? Apart, yet in complete sync…

Are we investing right?

All ready for the festive season and the new year that’s just another week away? Enjoy your holidays and INVEST RIGHT!

Today, I have the privilege of hosting one of the most beautiful souls I know, Tanuja ChandraDirector, TIME, Gurgaon. An edupreneur who believes in succeeding together. She’s a woman of less words and more action. A doting mother, a dedicated teacher and a wonderful homemaker. Without further ado, I will let you drown yourself in her words and understand why we must invest right. And no, she’s no investment guru or financial consultant. A simple human being with simpler thoughts. That’s why we connect so beautifully.

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There has been commotion around. I have been reading about it, listening to varying views, going through multiple posts on social media for a while. Commotion has been changing its face, but the basic question remains the same…

Are we making the right investments?

Chennai has been washed over. Excessive rains, nature, taking control. Posh houses, swanky cars, high tech gadgets, smart phones all went under water. None of these were able to control the rain, save people from drowning, get them food or water, or get them to safety. Providing shelter to the needy are the good souls who have been out there helping save lives, irrespective of their colour, caste or creed. I have come across individuals offering their homes to complete strangers, communities cooking and offering food, agencies clearing up and getting bits and pieces of infrastructure together. Unknown faces that will again merge with the crowd. That beautiful house is not able to provide safety; the car is not able to take one away to dry lands; and the phone is not able to connect in such REALTIME emergency. Help has come in the form of the neighborhood boy, the aunt next door and that useless agency/NGO.

How many times do we look at the people around us, smile at them, greet them, or wish them?

We have become part of the BIG CITY, where we are busy building our posh homes, buying swanky cars and high tech gadgets. We do not have time for these SMALL-n-SILLY people around us. They don’t matter. Do they? Along with building homes, build relationships. Don’t just buy gadgets – buy moments too.

Invest in relations, INVEST RIGHT!

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Then there is a lot of discussion on intolerance.

It is easy and convenient to sit in our comfortable drawing-rooms and pass judgment on people. On their religion, their belief system, their background and work. How many of us would tolerate our old parents and their “strange” way of doing things? How many of us would let our children live their childhood and not keep pushing them for an unknown rat-race? Tolerate their simple, messy childhood world? And we are not tolerant towards the success of our siblings/spouses/friends. Yes. We are increasingly becoming an intolerant society. If we cannot tolerate our old parents, who have contributed in BIG way to us being what we are, then how can we tolerate a stranger belonging to some other religion or region? When we are completely busy pushing our children to “perform” and “prepare” (hardly see them as children) them for the world, how do we feel the pain of children dying? When we are so unhappy about the well-being of our loved ones, how can we tolerate success of a country? Hence we burn it down.

Take care of all those who love you and care for you. Invest in relationships, memories and experiences. INVEST RIGHT!

After undergoing a major surgery last year, I have also understood that good health is one of the best gift that I can give myself and my family. Working beyond physical limits, not eating right, not exercising, not responding to signals that our body gives out are routine in our daily lives. We always assume that “I am young and ‘this’ will not happen to me.” We put a full-stop to our mental growth as well. We only use the brain as is required for the job. But our mind has huge potential which can be used for the betterment of society at large. And our soul is a completely neglected/ non-existent part. Unless our body is healthy, mind active and soul clear, we cannot have a satisfactory or content life.

Take care of your body, mind and soul. INVEST RIGHT!

Once in a while, roll down the glass of your swanky car and wave to that small boy on the road and make him smile. Invite old parents and their friends over to your posh home and serve them a warm meal with a warm smile. Take your children to the park and just play silly games with them. For tomorrow, our cities may turn into stone, our parents may not be there with us and our children will be all grown-up and gone.

Live your life every single moment, INVEST RIGHT!

While we know the amount of money in our bank accounts, we do not know how much time we have in our hands. We would still spend more time, building up that bank balance and do nothing about the life’s balance.

Wake up, INVEST RIGHT!