Something like Forever

forever

Li’l Love is one curious alien sent to Earth by mistake. No. Not an alien. She’s a research fellow from some advanced gola (planet) that the universal stork dropped into our home. She keeps asking questions and questions all day long. From why was she not available on our wedding, to how did she land up in my tummy, to why can’t she adopt a child at the age of seven. She needs logical answers, or else she dismisses your response altogether. In short, Mamma needs to go to school all over again as she hasn’t learned her lessons perfectly. And if at all Mamma happens to satisfy her, she says, “Google ne bataya hoga.” That’s my reputation. Sigh!

The other day, they were home and were watching 102 Dalmations. The Nivea ad appeared in the ad slot. And it went, BFF, BFF, BFF…

My little chipmunk sat up and asked, “What’s BFF?”

Silly girl, it’s Best Friends Forever”, said the slightly over-confident big sister.

What’s forever?”

“Forever means forever….err, it’s like something that’s there till you’re alive”, answered Anu Didi.

Not convinced, Li’l Love came up to me and asked again, “Mamma, what’s forever?”

I said, “Forever means Hamesha (in Hindi). Like, I will love you forever because you will be my best bachha (kid) forever.”

She smiled. Jumping happily, she went back to where she was seated.

Though I managed to satisfy her for now, I wasn’t myself satisfied.

What is forever? Is there something like forever and always?

February, the month of love, has given me a lot. Almost all the things that I hold dearly in my heart. The love of my life, freedom from a wretched life I had to live for a few years, my firstborn, our home and many others.

February also happens to be the one that took away a precious person from my life. Latha, my BFF. My bestest friend ever.

We had promised to be friends forever. But destiny had other plans. Latha and I were separated when we were in class ninth. Their family moved to Kerala. But still, we were in touch through letters. Five years, our relationship did not change much. She was still my bestest friend. The only one who knew me inside out. And then, she told me about getting married. I was in my first year at college. I was shocked. I thought only my parents were getting proposals for me even though I was only seventeen. She got married and as promised shared pictures immediately after their honeymoon. She went to her new house but her letters did reach me regularly. Later, she informed me of her pregnancy. I felt like being by her side. She then wrote about her elder sister being blessed with a son. I was very happy. Never knew that that would be her last letter to me.

In February that year, one late evening when we were at the dinner table, the phone bell rang. Dad picked it up and said it was some boy for me. Like all conservative parents, they stood next to me to know who the guy was. When I picked up the call and he spoke, I froze. It was Latha’s elder brother. He said that she died because of postpartum haemorrhage. The end of our Forever Friendship tale.

And that was the end of my belief in ‘Forever’. Nothing is forever. It is all momentary. Our love, our anger, our likes, our dislikes…everything is just momentary. It does not take forever for two people to separate. It does not take forever for a mean person to change for good. It does not take forever to forgive someone. It does not take forever to mend a broken relationship.

We cannot control what tomorrow holds for us. Or for that matter what the next moment holds for us. We cannot control other people’s feelings for us. We cannot control our destinies. We cannot control anything, but this moment. The one that we are living in. We can choose to keep grudges. We can choose to be bitter. We can choose to be rude. We can choose to be selfish. But we can also choose to forgive. We can also choose to make friends. We can also choose to share happiness. We can also choose to do some mischief. We can also choose to confess. We can also choose to love.

Nothing is permanent. Nothing is Forever.

Forever is just this moment. The one that we are living in. Let’s make this forever beautiful. We never know if there is another moment or not.

What’s your take on the word or concept called ‘FOREVER’?

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10 Replies to “Something like Forever”

  1. Losing a friend is very hard and to your question, forever is eternal. Latha was your BFF. She still is. Yes, there is pain in between but you will always remember her and she will be seated in some corner of your heart till you are in this world. I think that’s where forever comes from. A very touching post Rekha. Hugs!

  2. Eternity has to be experienced in this one moment – that’s what all the wise masters have said from times immemorial. The last line of your post summarises things rather well. But it is still so hard for us humans not to hope that there is a more hopeful tomorrow, a better tomorrow. Somewhere. I suppose, this is also what makes us human, in addition to constantly trying how to fully “be” in the present moment without thinking of tomorrow.

  3. She is and will remain in your memories forever. True, change is the only constant… Impermanence. But we can always have our forever in our hearts and memories.
    A very touching post, Rekha! Hugs!

  4. I do not believe in forever, due to some personal tragedies. Just like you my faith in ‘forever’ shattered few years back and nothing has helped restore it till date.
    I now feel, forever makes us take things, people and perhaps even life for granted, so we are better off living today to the fullest than being shattered by the unfulfilled vow of something/ someone being with us forever.

    That was a moving post Rekha.
    {Hugs}

  5. Ah! Little kids are indeed a bliss! Considering the way the world is going to hell in handcart nowadays, they can be titled as aliens from different ‘Gola’ too.

    May they keep us sane by their love… Forever!

  6. So difficult to not believe that the good stuff will not last forever. Live in the moment while still be hopeful that the forever still exists is what I would like to believe.

  7. I have one PK too in my life who makes my life miserable in a good way by asking questions constantly. I feel sorry for your loss. Forever is a theory but practically it is all temporary. I had one such friend whom I considered BFF. For a long time we shared a deep bond and supported each other through thick and thin. As silly girls, in our 30s, we made a pact to go on a world tour together, just the two of us in our 50s. Such was it. It is not the same now. I lost her a few months back because she chose to move away for reasons best known to her. And this makes me question the concept of best friends and forever. The ending lines in the post sort of speak my mind.

  8. Forever is in this moment, even when I am writing this comment to you and choosing words such that they can bind us together in just this moment… or is it forever?

    Very profound. Beautiful post, Rekha! Lots of love to your li’l chipmunk. 🙂

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