Don’t be Horny Please!

What? Oh Yes! You read that right. Keep Calm and Don’t Get Horny…nahi toh aunty police bula legi!

That gentleman from behind is not blind. He can see the red light on the traffic lamp at the signal. Oh! I think his hand smeared with ghee from the aaloo ka parantha that he might have hogged on in the morning, must have got stuck on the car horn. No matter what expletives are used or how rudely he is stared, he’s not able to move his hands away from the horn. Or was he releasing the air from his pot-belly by pressing himself on to the horn?

Thank God the light has turned green.

There’s not much traffic. Not at all when that Royal Enfield bullet or ‘Farting Bike’ (as Anu puts it) passed by. As if the already roaring bullet was not good enough, another rider passed by honking non-stop.

The other day, I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of continuous honking. Thanks to the call center cabs and the employees who follow IST (Indian Stretchable Time) to reach their pick-up points. Bhai logs and behen logs, I wonder if you deserve the job or not. You have no respect for time, no respect for fellow beings, no respect for the cab driver who drives almost 21 hours a day.

Early in December last year, Mom was hospitalized. She had severe cervical spondylitis combined with some imbalance issue in her ears. The senior consultant advised an audiometry test. While the technician was performing the test, I could hear various kinds of horns being blown on the nearby road. This was a hospital and there are signboards outside that say, ‘No Horn’ and ‘Horn Prohibited’.

I’m definitely going to take up an insurance for my ears and my hearing. What? Why are you laughing? If Jennifer Lopez can get her big wala booty insured, can I not get my two little ears insured?

The school the girls go to is on the main road. I drop them off in the morning and pick them up in the evening. In the morning, the general traffic is redirected through a different road. But my fellow brothers and sisters do not take the rules seriously and so they use the road in front of the school where the Metro construction is also in full-swing. You can imagine the traffic condition with all the school buses, vehicles dropping children and these rule-breakers. Traffic increases and then group honking starts. It is so frustrating that I have imagined myself getting down and giving left, right and center to some of these eccentric honkers.

These people who have no traffic sense must be banned. Their licenses should be revoked by authorities. They are a menace to the society. One must keep in mind that there is a big difference between giving a quick “beep” and laying on your horn with an obnoxious “BEEEEEEEEEEP”. This also makes me ponder whether they are actually aware of the traffic rules and traffic signals or was it a back door entry that got them the license. Do they even realize that they are contributing to noise pollution that silently kills many?

For those that have no idea about the car horn usage as per traffic rules around the world, I am reproducing the same.

  • Use The Horn only when essential and do not use it in a silence zone. Do not fit loud, multi-toned or harsh and shrill sounding horns or alarms in your vehicle. Vehicles with altered silencers are also prohibited on the road.
  • A horn should only be used when warning someone of danger, not to indicate your annoyance at a manner of driving.

  • A horn should not be sounded when stationary on a road at anytime, other than at times of danger due to another vehicle on or near the road.

  • Honking in residential areas is illegal, a criminal offence.
  • A horn should not be used on a moving vehicle on a restricted road (basically a road that has street lights and a 30mph limit) between the times of 2330hrs and 0700hrs.

 

Please understand that your horn cannot magically clear a traffic jam. Honking is not the right way to say ‘Hi’ as you drive past your friend. Not wanting to get out of the car and ring the doorbell is not grounds for using your horn.

Do watch this video by Young Indians on Horn Not OK Please.

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8 Replies to “Don’t be Horny Please!”

  1. Thank you for writing about this, Rekha.

    This is my peeve along with not following Traffic rules. When I read about people get mad about people not “showing” respect for flags, emblems etc…I wonder, does it occur to these same people that when you don’t follow everyday laws/rules, that your own people made, that you pay taxes so see it implemented, it smacks of a lack of respect for your Country. It is un-patriotic when you don’t care about the state of your country’s laws, rules, roads, property and people. Start showing respect everyday to the things that make your country, before you make grandiose statements about another’s patriotism.

    1. Un-patriotic! That’s the word. And with the Republic Day just gone by it is even more annoying to see the flags on the honking cars. Our people seriously need to educate themselves on this and many other matters concerning general public.

  2. It’s a crime in my place to honk unnecessarily. Even if someone is cutting lane, you only try and flash a high beam at that person and save horn for the emergencies.

    1. And so you would not be feeling like running away from your city at the first instance possible. We for that matter try and get out of this screachy-screamy city even if we get a three day off. As if my migraine was not enough to kill me, these honking criminals make me want to bang my head on the adjacent Metro pillars.

      1. One thing I am not very appreciative of India is it’s bad traffic culture. Sadly it’s the same everywhere throughout the country (apart from those expressways in North India, if I’m not wrong).

  3. On more than one occassion I’ve felt breathless and slightly disoriented by the sheer honking noise. I even had to pull over and took some time to get normal! When one small beep is enough, I wonder what makes people beeeeeeeep. Seriously not done!

  4. Your title sure was distracting! Totally agree, people go trigger happy with the horn! No decency or concern for other people’s comfort or disturbance. When one goes abroad, one realizes how different situations are, with same or more traffic. Great post 🙂

  5. You know sometimes I get mad at S because he just doesn’t like honking..But when I see people honking for no rhyme or reason, it makes me realise how sane S is! You should see how people start honking the moment a traffic signal turns green..it’s crazy!

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