…after a month long break from blogging. Did you miss me? No? That’s fine.
Where was I? What did I do? A lot happened over this one month.
My sister was here on her first-ever fairly long vacation after her marriage in 2009. My sabbatical allowed me to spend some quality time with her and her son Abhi. His speech delay and my job schedule had never allowed us to mingle well. But this time we made up for all of it. He calls me ‘Vallyamma’. It translates to ‘elder mother’ in Malayalam. I thoroughly enjoyed his pranks, his transformation in this one month from a naughty yet innocent toddler to a mischievous brat who learned to have his way with a sugar-coated ‘Vallyamma Please!’ and the most mischievous smile ever. I always miss having my sister by my side. But this time I am going to miss Abhi more than anyone else. I know the girls won’t appreciate it at all.
We celebrated Onam with full house. I celebrated my 36th birthday along with Amma’s 60th birthday. Shashtipoorti we call it. An early morning Ganapathy Homam and then an Ayush Homam is all we arranged. I love getting these homams done. It reminds me of what my grandmother used to tell me. She wasn’t very educated. I think she just completed her eighth grade or may be tenth. But she was the one who gave me the most logical explanations for my doubts. She mentioned that homams are done not just for the religious beliefs, but for scientific reasons too. The smoke and fire from the Homam that fills up the atmosphere at home kills the germs and the negativity that prevails and fills it up with positivity. A reasoning I still believe in.
As part of the birthday celebrations, we made a family trip to Ramgarh in Uttaranchal. One of the best trips of my life so far. A treasured one. This happens to be our umpteenth trip to the hills, yet we enjoyed every bit of it. It was fun watching the grandparents engaging like kids with the kids. Everyone must become a grandparent. Parenthood forces us to be strict and makes us tired. Grandparents get to enjoy the most by showering immeasurable love and affection without any fear of spoiling the children.
Amidst all this, I had the privilege of being disowned by yet another extended family member. And elderly couple whom I still respect for their age and our relation. But I could not agree with the narrow-mindedness, selfishness and uncalled for advice. I was asked for it and I spoke my heart. Like always. I still stand by my words. I am known in my family as a rebel ever since I married against everyone’s wishes. (The only decision of mine that I will never regret.) Getting disowned is nothing new to me. But yes, it hurts. Not because I care for them. They don’t deserve it. But because it affects many others and I feel guilty for having spoiled their relationship with the once-upon-a-time favourite uncle and aunt. I learnt once again that we must not let others influence our words and actions. It is better to stay true to yourself than pleasing others.
The sister and family are back in their base city. And my parents are once again alone in their house. I am glad that I am just walking distance away from them. Even though I cannot fulfill the void, I can at least be there to support them morally.
God doesn’t do injustice. The best thing to have happened in the near past is that my mother-in-law called me up to let me know how she respects me for the way I handle all my relationships. We did not begin our journey with good vibes; but yes, these past thirteen years have brought us close enough to understand each other. She was right in her own shoes while I was still clueless about my role. Now we understand each other better than many others. And I feel proud to say that my patience and persistence paid.