When I asked her to lie…

…it was that moment of life which I wish hadn’t happened. Or which I wish would erase itself from the history of mankind. Or at least from my own life.

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Li’l Love. Honestly, I still do not know if she is my mother or I am hers. Because it is I who has learnt a lot from her. And the lessons continue every single day. For every life lesson that I try to teach her, she teaches me many simple yet forgotten ones.

My Mom is reaching her retirement age and has become extremely religious. From fasting to visiting almost all the temples in our locality after her school hours has become her routine. So much that even Dad gets annoyed at her absence many a times. Everyday is an auspicious day. It should be. But according to her we should not eat eggs or meat on such days. If you ask her, she’ll say we shouldn’t eat them on any day. I was a step ahead of her in being ‘religious’ till I married this meat-eating brahmin boy from the hills. His theory is simple. Either eat or don’t eat. Do not confuse with days. And I found logic in his argument and fell for it and became a pure non-vegetarian myself.

So, the other day was Chottanikkara Makam. Don’t even try to pronounce it if you are not from Kerala. It is an auspicious day. Period. For more details, visit Google Baba. I made the girls take a bath after their school hours and like “good babies” we went to the temple. We met Mom there. And then we took leave and went on to the market to buy some stuff for our upcoming travel the very next morning. And I saw tender coconuts which are a delight for Li’l Love. So mommy with the girls enjoyed one each. And then I saw Anu widening her whiskers and smiling. She said, “Momos. Hot hot momos. Yummy Chicken Momos.” Since the husband was to come back from a dinner and the mighty lazy me had not prepared anything for dinner, I decided to get chicken momos packed. Dinner was spared!

As we enjoyed every bite into the juicy momos, the mobile rang. As expected, it was Mom. She spoke with Anu who is now smart enough to change the topic at the right instance. Now it was the turn of Li’l Love. The saint in our home. So before she spoke, I whispered in her ears to not tell her grandmother that we were eating Momos. She turned and gave me a fierce look as fiery as Lord Shiva’s third eye. I was almost burnt to ashes when she asked me with a higher tone than usual, “You’re asking me to lie? Why?

I must admit that it was with great difficulty that I managed to open my mouth to answer her. I said, “Today is an auspicious day and Amma will not like that we are having chicken. She will scold your mom. Will you like it?

To this she responded abruptly, “I’ll tell her not to scold you. But I don’t think we should lie.

It was one of those days that I cursed being a mom to this little angel. I was so ashamed of myself.

A simple thing I had complicated so much. And what for? Because I didn’t want to listen to those one or two sentences from my mother that it was an auspicious day and I shouldn’t have brought or cooked non-vegetarian?  Just to avoid it, I was knowingly teaching a wrong lesson to my children. Shame on me!

I have promised myself that come what may, I will not lie or ask my children to lie for such immaterial reasons.

The trouble with our generation is that we aren’t assertive. Not because we don’t want to be. But because we choose to be people-pleasers. We are a scared lot. We have been taught to respect people and their sentiments no matter what. What was not taught was that while doing this we are actually forgetting life’s important lessons in the process unnecessarily complicating it.

A big thanks to the Almighty for having sent this little God’s own child into my life. I am deeply indebted to her for the way she corrects me every time I err. I love the simple way she prefers to explain her point of view, which in most cases is the right one.

I hope you did read another lesson from Li”l Love that I shared as a guest post on Gayatri’s Outside the Kitchen Window. If not, you can read it here: Lessons from my toddler.

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16 Replies to “When I asked her to lie…”

  1. It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it Rekha? That she has remembered what you taught her, that she shouldn’t lie…I think your girl will be able to handle all situations with ease… Proud of her and you too because it couldn’t have been without you right?

  2. 🙂 you are so right about the ppl pleasing thing and when it comes to parents, aah, what kind of things we do! You’ve got one real angel for sure. She’s so sure about what she shouldn’t be doing and was ready to stand up for it. You’ve a huge responsibility of nursing that wonderful quality. 🙂

  3. ah ha.. my best wishes to the little one and God bless her.
    why do we have to grow up 😦

    and Good decision no lies.. I have planned that I am not going to lie 🙂

  4. That is just so cute! And please don’t be so hard on yourself, I can completely identify behaving similarly in such a situation – the same as many of us adults who have got used to “not lying but just not telling unpleasant truths”. A good lesson for all of us!

  5. Same case happens with me and my mom too… Their generation is sometimes unnecessarily scared to directly pour out thier feelings to someone… even they manipulate the cockles of their hearts… lie for once and then the vicious chain goes on… I have seen it practically in my 2o yrs of age.

  6. Nice lesson she taught you…i don’t think you will have the guts to ask her to lie again, even to yourself 🙂
    On a side note, i am a pure veg myself…not even eggs on any day.

  7. Before you go beating yourself over a Single Lapse in a long line of good behaviour, pat your back, you are raising a person much stronger than you were at her age :). Hugs to the little ones and to you.

  8. If you’re a people pleaser, you tend to raise expectations and then you find that you get tired of constantly having to work to keep people happy!!
    I’m glad that I’m like Little Love that I prefer to correct any wrong assumptions so that people know who they have to deal with!! 😀

  9. Wow I am already in love with li’i Love. Speaking truth needs courage and I am sure she will have plenty of it 🙂

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