Cloning Vloning

It was raining heavily and from that radiant light from the corner of the room emerged He. And all He said was,

“I am giving you a wish. Clone yourself! Split up your responsibilities. Fast!”

I thunk and then I thunk a little more and then a little bit more of thunking

My first clone would just be a mother and nothing else. And I’ll do all that I have wished and missed so far. Taking them to the park daily, listening to their impatient stories without getting irritated when they’re back from school, cooking them their favorite dishes, playing with them scrabble, hide and seek, peek-a-boo and what not. Err…I hope I don’t end up making them say, “We were better off without this full-time mom.

I need a second clone which can be successful only if my man gets to clone himself too. This one is just to be with him all the time and relive some of those lost times once again. Some exotic location and the two of us…just us. No kebab mein haddis.  Wait a minute! If he ever gets to clone himself he will definitely go after Angelina Jolie, Deepika Padukone or Camilla ki taangein. Men will be men. So clone number two ka idea cancelled. Or may be I can rush off after….mmm….mmm….koi munda pasand hi nahi aaya saanu. Sigh!

The third one it seems is going to be the most important one. The indispensable Sakku Bai aka Lady Friday. For the past 5 years since my second one was born is when I started having this full-time maid business. And trust me when I tell you I was better off without them. A full day in office and then everyone comes back home to be comfortable. And with these ‘helpers’ at home who pounce upon you with the same speed as a tiger pounces upon its prey after a week’s starvation, you become more like a stranger who rang the bell by mistake at your own house. With some of the recent ones (mature old ladies) it has been a terrible experience. I never knew ‘maturity’ was the synonym of ‘stubbornness’ and ‘arrogance’ until I employed them. Just like the husband said the other day: “Familiarity breeds contempt”. You treat them like a family member and they’ll surely hurt you. It happens with me all the time. So this clone of mine will have that magic wand…err jhaadoo (See, I’m a true supporter of Aam Aadmi). A swish of the jhadoo and all the work gets done perfectly. No dependency and no pain. Aah…what a wish! Amen to this one.

A fourth one just to keep my ever complaining mom and mom-in-law happy. I have a birth defect of being an anti-social element. Please don’t misunderstand. I just meant that I am not social. In the sense that I don’t have many friends I hang around with and I don’t call up family or friends without it being a necessity. Even though my corporate connection many a times gets a bill of less than INR 250, they never bothered to reward me for these huge savings that adds up to the NOI. Kanjoos log, I tell you. Mom and mom-in-law keep complaining that I don’t call them regularly because I don’t care about them. See, expressing is actually necessary. So this clone’s sole responsibility will be to keep calling both the moms and keep them happy.

A fifth one is the most cherished one. One who just has all of her time to read, write and comment in Blogosphere. I feel bad because I usually am unable to find time to respond to each and every comment on my posts. Mistake it is. Grave one. There is so much to learn in every single post that we read. We may not necessarily agree to someone’s view point but we get to learn a lot in the process of disagreements too. The simplest of posts too sometimes leaves you full of thoughts. Just like alphabets dance in front of Ishaan Nand Kishore Awasthi of Taare Zameen Par, the words in a post dance around me. The only difference is I understand them unlike that poor little fellow.

And then there is an Ashariri or Akashvani or Oracle (voice from the skies):

“Cloning vloning kuch nahi hondi kudiye…utho aur kaam pe lag jao.”

Translation: Cloning vloning is nothing…get up and get back to work.

thud

And here I’m on the floor as reality strikes.

Time to wake up! Good Morning!

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This post is part of the WordPress Daily Prompts : 365 Writing Prompts program where the aim is to post at least once a day based on the prompts that they have provided. Today’s prompt is, Clone Wars: If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?

The author Rekha Dhyani is one of the contributors to the We Post Daily and blogs regularly at Dew Drops. She also shares her lucky clicks at The Crystal Trance

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