India, America, Russia, Australia, Africa, Germany, Finland, Sweden, China, Antartica and even Utopia.
Any idea what these countries have in common?
Rack your brains…
Just a little bit more…
Okay. Okay. I know you aren’t as smart as I am, so here’s the answer.
All these countries have the privilege of being outlined by me almost every single day.
Did you ask why?
I hope you remember my husband’s Chappattas of I Love My Chappati fame. So the me that made fun of my husband’s chappattas is going to confess today that though I do make reasonably okay chappattis, I cannot and CANNOT make a round one at all. I end up making maps and clouds.
The husband is extremely cautious about oil intake. So much that since the age of 27 when he got married to me, he’s been telling me that we are reaching 40 and we must be careful with fat and oil. 😛 All this only when I have a craving for a fried food. When he has a craving, we go back to our teens you know. 😉
Just joking! Poor thing is worried more for me, as much before inheriting ancestral property, I have inherited diabetes and triglycerides from my Mom and Dad respectively. But the thing is me being me, I am supposed to make only disasters in kitchen.
Whenever I cook wishing to make the best dish and serve my family, I end up making only disaster. Whenever I put in my 100% in kitchen, the results are way below average.
- Rice gets over-cooked
- Dosas and Chappatis look like cut pieces of clothes at a tailor’s shop
- Dal ends up tasting Lahsuni (all of us dislike it)
- Chicken floats in oil
- Rajma is so spicy that one can see smoke coming out of everyone’s ears.
- Sambhar is either thicker than porridge or is thinner than kerosene
- Idli can either be used instead of FeviStick or can be used as Cosco balls
- Half Fry will always become full fry as the yolk breaks 99 out of 100 times
- Tea tastes as sweet as my blood
- And salt…a separate post can be written on My adventures with NaCl (Sodium Chloride).
I have had days when hubby patiently taught me the difference between a pinch and a teaspoon-full, and days when he actually got so frustrated that instead of wasting time breaking his head against the wall known as my brain, he would call up the nearest restaurant and order food. Recently, I prepared chicken to make up for a fight and fed the children and then the hubby and finally when I sat down to have my chappati, I almost cried for the poor soul, who finished his food without a single word. Yes. My chicken curry was saltier than sea water. 😦 But then, I would like to believe what matters is the love that I added while cooking. 😛
Why go far? Last week, I woke up at 5 a.m. 15 minutes before my scheduled waking up time and thought I would complete my tasks early and would wake up the girls with all my love, instead of the usual, “Wake up fast and get into the washroom.“ or “Fast, Fast, Fast. I have to leave for work.” Though I’m a genius at multi-tasking (No. No. I am not tooting my own horn), I ended up burning the gravy that I had prepared for Rajma because I was busy ironing clothes.
All this when I started cooking at the age of 11. I have been cooking since then and trust me I make reasonably okay food if I don’t put in my heart and brain into it. The moment I try putting my heart and brain, everything goes for a toss. One of those times, when I do agree with hubby that I should not try putting in things that aren’t available. 😛 Of course, I gave him my heart long back, but my brain…may be that too got passed on by mistake. Now I know how he became so wise. 😉
I bake cakes once a year. Sometime during Christmas. I have been making them since I was in college and the cakes did come out pretty well. 2-3 years back, I baked a cake for my Dad’s birthday. I bought a Borosil glass pan and the ingredients and prepared the mix. Baked the cake and in the evening I set the table so lovingly for my Dad to cut the cake. He picked up the knife and went on to cut the cake. Alas! Another disaster. The cake was as hard as a grindstone. Where did I go wrong? I have no clue. This was not the first time I was baking a cake. But then, such incidents happen to me when they are least expected. We could have saved it to hurl at a robber if ever one entered our place. Positive thinking it is! 😀
Yes. A big fat disaster I am in the kitchen.
So given a chance I would like to master the skill named COOKING. It’ll definitely save my family from further torture.
This post is part of the WordPress Daily Prompts : 365 Writing Prompts program where the aim is to post at least once a day based on the prompts that they have provided. Today’s prompt is, “I got skills: If you could choose to be a master (or mistress) of any skill in the world, which skill would you pick?“