Am I failing as a mother?

This morning, I was getting late and had to drop the kids at my parent’s place by myself as hubby is travelling. In my rush I asked the girls to speed up and rush to their grandparent’s place while I was busy keeping their schoolbags and water bottles inside Dad’s car. Poor Lil Love fell on the road and all I did was to shout and ask her to get up, go running upstairs and ask grandpa to clean her trousers. I rushed back into to the cab and once I was settled, I felt so sorry and so bad that I couldn’t hold my tears back. I felt bad because I didn’t bother to stop and see whether my child was hurt. I didn’t even give her a chance to explain what she was trying to tell me. I didn’t even try to pacify her. What the hell am I working for, if I can’t give proper attention to the kids? Feeling really really upset and I know I won’t feel better until I reach back home, see them, say sorry and give her a tight hug and a few kisses.

Am I failing as a mother?

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21 thoughts on “Am I failing as a mother?

  1. Ok, So I’m not going to like this on purpose. But remember this, in our endeavours to being super-parents, we sometimes snap. Just get up, dust yourself and run along. Kids don’t hold grudges. You know that right? I’ve been in similar situations a few times, and I don’t even work full time. So chin up Rekx, you are a brilliant mom.

    • These small incidents make you feel so helpless and careless. You’re right. Kids don’t hold any grudges. I was dying to meet her that day, but before me she came running and hugged me which made me feel so much better. Luckily she was unhurt. Your SMS that day was a great soother. Thanks Sid! 🙂

  2. you’re not failing as a mother or are an awful mother because you felt a normal human emotion – frustration. if maybe you’d felt nothing afterwards then I’d be worried but honestly, we all have weak moments and make mistakes. you are in no way failing as a mother.

      • I completely understand. i’m a step mother and have no children of my own and even though its a different situation, the mistakes are exactly the same. I know how you feel. honestly, don’t dwell on it too much otherwise ou’ll drive yourself crazy, focus on the stuff you do right 😉

  3. That depends if this is an isolated incident or happens on a regular basis.. If it’s an isolated incident then it might be due to the stress you’re under right now.. Also, you’re not the only person who is responsible for the kids.. Maybe you can get the husband or grandparents to help in this so that you don’t have to take all of the panic.. just my two bits

      • Santulan & Pro, of course such incidents do not happen on a regular basis. If it was such, I would have been ashamed to be known as a mother. Regarding responsibilities, everybody is doing their bit. It’s just that some days are meant to be ruined no matter however you try. The husband was on tour and we were ready much before our usual time. But there was a heavy traffic jam just outside the colony gate just because of ego clash between the driver of a school bus and that of a car. Will they be aware that their scuffle lead to this incident in my life and may be some other in someone else’s because we were all rushing to our respective work/school amidst all this commotion caused by them. The good part is Lil Love was unhurt. I did apologize to her as soon as I reached home. A tight hug and all was well. 🙂

  4. Chill out Rex, one bad incident does not a bad mother make. Given the craziness of weekday mornings these things happen. Just go back home, give her a hug, and when she hugs you back and gives you a lovely wet kiss on your cheek, you know you are an awesome mother 😀

  5. I know the bitter taste of that particular guilt Rex. I know it more than I ever wanted to know it. But now that my kids are grown up (almost), they tell me that though there were times they hated me but now they understand. And that they wouldn’t exchange me for the best mom out there. (No, I not the best. Just… theirs.)

    I think that is more than enough. I can live with that.

    • Thanks Dagny! Those were truly comforting words. And yes, being a daughter I very well realize how we understand those things that made us feel our Mom was a witch. Today, I always keep wondering how she used to manage us all alone and with lesser facilities available.

      Regarding the exchanging part, I doubt because Lil Love shows her Dad a magazine or two and recommends ladies she wants him to get her as moms. 😛

  6. Firstly calm down. I know no amount of words or support can dilute what you are feeling right now. Because sometimes incidents such as these put up questions which are never ending, “why am I doing what?” “What am I achieving?” and so on. I don’t have kids but at times with blogging and work I feel a similar emotion with my husband. I too tell myself I need to give more time. I personally feel that cutting out on guilt is of course a way, but sometimes assigning a day or two in the week to perhaps re-evaluate what we are doing can also help.

    See if this works.I know it worked for me. And it was one such brain storming that led me to remove tv from home. And now I have a lot of time for the two of us and everything else.

    Richa

  7. Hugs Rekha.. You are not failing as a mom!
    You are a great mom to your kids!

    Hugs.. go and hug your little one too.. you and she will feel so much better 🙂

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