Time to take a right turn

These days, I am observing a set pattern. Firstborn opens the door for me with a smile as wide as the ocean and before I complete my ‘Good Evening babies!’ she starts off with one riddle or the other that she has picked up from the newsletter that the school provides. She doesn’t even allow me a thinking time and blurts out the answer saying, ‘I knew you won’t know this.’ or ‘I knew you won’t get it.’

Though I’m delighted to see her beaming with pride and becoming more open and confident as she’s growing, this particular behavior is something I am unable to defend anymore. I feel if I won’t stop her now from thinking that Mamma (or Papa or anyone else) doesn’t know the answer, she might get into that category of humans who look down upon others. This is strictly my personal view.

Honestly this trait was induced in her by hubby and me only during the past few years when in an effort to encourage her and make her open up more, we used to say things like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know that.’, ‘You’re an intelligent girl.’, ‘You know all the right answers.’, ‘You go to a very good school.’ or ‘You have a wonderful teacher.’

This did help in making her self-confident and become more open in sharing and discussing her problems as well as day-to-day happenings with us, unlike when she was 4-5 years old. Back then she was an extremely introvert, shy and under-confident child.

But now I think it’s time to make amendments to this rule. I don’t want her to become an over-confident, self-obsessed and self-centered girl who feels superior to every single living being. That I think will be the biggest mistake I’ll ever make as a mother. I want her to fly with her wings wide open and yet be closer to her roots, so that she grows up to be a good human being than one with multiple certificates of achievements with little humility and gratitude towards fellow humans.

I wish and hope that I am taking the right turn at the right time. 


6 Replies to “Time to take a right turn”

  1. Absolutely the right turn.
    While kids should be brought up to be confident, they should also be brought up to be modest.
    Many people, adults and children, have the tendency to look down on others who do not possess the same ‘superior’ qualities. To avoid this, kids must be made to realise that many ‘qualities’ are a result of the socio-economic background in which one is born, and this is purely a matter of chance.
    Respect the bus conductor. Who knows, he may be the next Rajnikant!!
    Respect the petrol pump employee. Who knows, he may be the next Dhirubhai!!

  2. Good decision, that way you will also make her an example for the Junior to follow. Of course, I enjoy when Ann asks such questions and answers before I even comprehend them. However, she needs to be told to be modest and give others a chance to understand the question and answer. Also should be told to encourage others to answer her questions, like we encourage her to answer our questions.

  3. Just teach her that while she is smart and brilliant and all that, she should not at any cost and under any circumstances put down somebody else in a rude manner. Teach her to be generous with her knowledge, teach her to share her knowledge, teach her to help others become as smart as her.

    Am sure you are taking the right turn, just ensure that you don’t end up curbing her enthusiasm and confidence. Am sure you won’t do that, but just saying it, that’s all 🙂

    Ah, the things that parents have to do!!!

  4. While kids should feel confident of what they know, there should also be a feeling that there is much to be known. It is surely a task not simple, but worth doing. I guess you are taking the right turn, Rekha.

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