- Flunked in the exams?
- Had a break-up with a long-time girl-friend/boyfriend?
- Couldn’t get married to the love of your life?
- Cheated upon by your spouse?
- Subjected to domestic violence?
- Failure in business?
Is that the only thing up there on your mind?
No, you’re not alone, my friend. It has happened with a lot of us. Some were successful in their attempt, some were contemplating and never found the courage to implement their plans and for some others, it was just a stupid thought that passed by their minds. We all thought that it was the end of the road.
I am one from the third category. No, I did not flunk. Neither did I break-up with someone.
A love marriage against the wishes of both set of parents. The usual drama that follows in every love story.
Rejection, Blaming, Accusations, Abandoning, everything followed. A time of our lives which I wish never comes back. Everything and trust me, everything was going wrong. My own Dad, though painfully did abandon me by way of not responding to me for a full 18 months, My in-laws abandoned me for I had snatched away their first-born. And then a gynecological disorder, which rendered me as infertile. With a husband who used to be a sales man travelling for almost 3 weeks a month, and no one back home to even offer a shoulder to cry on, I had enough and more time and space in my mind to offer to the devil for his workshop. The wild thought of quitting did pass through my mind many a times during those dark days.
At this point in time, when I have just stepped into my 35th living year, I look back and am glad that I did not commit any such foolish attempt. I’m glad I wasn’t courageous enough to commit such a heinous crime. I have everyone with me, including both set of parents (especially my wonderful Dad who was only worried because of the dowry deaths and burning that he witnessed in our neighborhood), a wonderful life partner, two little angels and everything one could ask for. Every time I get back into those memories, I feel more and more glad about having failed at it. If I had committed this crime, I would have missed all these wonderful times that I enjoy now. Isn’t it?
All those ugly moments have only made me stronger than ever before. I now speak up for myself. I refuse to do things that I do not relate to.
The trouble with us is we wish to please anyone and everyone. In the mad rush to be a good son/daughter, a good husband/wife, a good daughter-in-law, and the likes, we forget who we actually are. Stop being someone else to attract people who don’t even care about what you’re going through or what you feel. Be yourself and see the difference. The day I refused to be anyone other than myself, was the day I actually made it clear to everyone including myself that I’ll not quit. This beautiful life that is offered to me is mine and I at any cost will make it even more beautiful.
The mistake we make is tagging certain things as the most important milestones in our life, rather oxygen units in the cylinder of life. Having flunked in the exams is not the end of the road. Breaking up is not at all unusual. Your spouse cheating upon you is not the end of your life. Being unable to bear a child is not the gravest sin you’ve committed.
The gravest sin is not letting the ‘you’ in you to come out and enjoy life.
Speak up. Convey your point. Refuse things as and when necessary. Stop pleasing all and sundry. You’re not going to be adorned with any medal for being the good, better, best. You can only make others happy, if you are happy and satisfied.
Never Ever Quit!
Life is Beautiful and full of surprises. Have patience while it unfolds.
‘You’ are a precious treasure of the Almighty and you are assigned to take good care of yourself.
P.S. This was composed ever since I read Amit’s post, A failed suicide attempt. Scheduled and removed, again and again. It was supposed to be my entry on my birthday on the 6th at the #WriteTribe Festival of Words, but then I had removed it fearing it’ll be painful for my loved ones, especially my parents. But Corrine‘s message this evening,
“…if one life was saved by his openness, then was worth reliving the incident in his mind.”
gave my inner voice a power to share this with all of you. I wish to apologize to my parents, husband and sister for the very cowardice thought that passed my mind years back.