I had thought of taking a break from writing this month, but I am back because I need your help. And trust me, I need it badly.
I am sure it’s going to be the same with most of you. But then I believe sharing helps lessen the burden and helps us to grow and improve.
Lil Love has been troubling me a lot since past few weeks, more so in the last 4-5 days. She’s extremely stubborn and cranky and is not ready to listen to me at all. I am having a tough time with my migraine on and this little girl is literally killing me with her cries and screams. I am unable to bear the pain and feel like I won’t be able to handle it any further. In an effort to not let her yelling affect me, I start yelling back and trust me; I hate it more than anyone else. I feel like a barking dog and yet no one takes me seriously.
I get even more furious when Mr. Right comes in at around 11.00 p.m. from work and counsels me saying,
“You should handle her patiently.”
Here I must agree that he is a lot more patient with kids than I am.
I have tried pacifying her, cajoling her, caressing her, scolding her and I even gave a few strokes with a comb below her knees. Trust me when I say, it pains me more than her to hurt her in this way. I completely know there’s something wrong that I am doing, but I am unable to understand what the right thing to do is.
I might look insane to people who know that I am a mother of two that I am unable to handle this naughty little girl. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have never had this kind of trouble with Anu, my elder one, who was much quiet and reserved. Even now, she doesn’t bother me much and it is much easier to understand her and her temperament. But Lil Love is really testing my patience.
I am sure this is just a temporary stage, but I would love to handle it in a better way. I don’t want to be a bad mother.
I am tired.