As usual, during lunch hour today, happened to read a few blog posts.
And then this struck to me.
Are all marriages mere compromises?
NO. Not all.
All marriages are not mere compromises, if not fairy tales. At least I believe so.
It takes two hands to clap. Similarly it takes both the partners to make a marriage a successful one.
At the same time, I don’t believe that one partner compromising all the time helps ever. That kind of marriage, to me, is already a dead relationship, wherein you do not have any respect, any understanding, any admiration, any fruitful communication and most of all, any love for the other partner. It is as good as living with any of those unknown people walking past us on the streets. It really would not make any difference. Would it?
- How can someone stay around with a person who abuses them physically and mentally, day in and day out?
- How can one stay with a person who has no respect for his/her own words?
- How can one be with someone who raises hands at them, every now and then?
- Is it good to compromise and save a marriage with insane, insensitive people like the one in the post?
I don’t think even kids these days would/should take it casually when someone (including parents) severely punishes them. Let alone an educated adult.
Compromise does work only if both the parties are wanting to save the relationship for the love and respect they have (if at all any). It works when a mistake happens unknowingly or unintentionally by either of them. But it cannot work when it is made for one party’s selfish motives and is repeated time and again.
I know I am talking like I am straight out of Alice’s Wonderland or a Cindrella story. 😐
I know there are plenty of houses around wherein domestic violence happens everyday. And those marriages they say are working on compromises. But tell me frankly, will any of them be happy for once? Will the children of those houses not be getting affected by this stupid routine? What is the advantage of saving such a marriage? I don’t see any.
To me it looks like caging myself and blaming someone else.
I agree that there aren’t any households or any couples that have not had any issues or any differences of opinion at all. If I say so, I will be lying to myself. No two individuals are alike and hence differences are bound to happen. But torturing someone or abusing someone is the height a marriage can or should take. Talk it out, vent out your anger, cool down and be together again.
If it is compromise that’s keeping you together with a monster or madwoman, you can be assured that your house, your parents, your children, none will ever be happy. One must get out of such a relationship as fast as possible and live peacefully and let others too breathe out a sigh of relief.
It doesn’t mean that if bones are broken by someone, you should fix them and stay together with that person again.
I am not suggesting people to get out of a relationship overnight. Do give it time and make it work if it’s worth it.
But as soon as violence creeps into any relationship, I believe it is already stung with poison. It cannot and should not be allowed to affect other relations.
What’s your take on this? Would love to hear.