Before my marriage, when my parents used to stop me from doing something I wished to or refuse any of my requests, I was like, “When will I get out of this place and be on my own? This is such a tough life.”
I never imagined life could have been tougher than that.
To realize that, all it took me was to become a mother. A mother of two. 😀
Upon Anu’s birth, I heard someone say,
“Congratulations! You are now a parent. A proud mother. Amazing feeling it is to hold a crazy bubbly little bundle in your hands. You’re now gonna have the best part of your life, reliving all those years that passed by with a splash of new colors and a whole new experience of learning and unlearning.”
Never did I take that statement so seriously. Parenting is indeed a journey comprising of lots of learning and unlearning.
Like every mother, I too had set some rules in place for them.
Do’s and Don’t
- Don’t Ever Lie
- Don’t Put the TV volume over 15 or else I’ll put it off
- Don’t have crunchy munchies after 6.00 pm, you’ll not have space for dinner then
- Don’t fight with each other.
- Don’t argue or reply back.
- Don’t make a mess of the house.
- Don’t play in the bed-room or jump on the bed. Bedroom is for sleeping and sleeping only.
- Don’t walk around in your shoes meant for outdoors within the house.
- Don’t dare sleep in anything apart from your night suits.
- Don’t make the other one do your stuff. Do your own work all by yourself.
The list is endless, so to save time I’ll let it be till here.
I’m sure you are searching for one ‘Do‘ in that list, the same way the kids would be doing. 😀
I had always told my Amma,
“You’re a teacher and that’s why you have such a long list of Do’s and Don’t for us. I won’t be one and my kids will be the happiest in the world.”
She used to smile in return and not say a word. I now understand she could actually see the future. Thanks to the many astrology columns she reads and the multiple magazines she subscribes to. 😐
I chose not to be a teacher, but the happiness of my kids, you can either check with them or it should already be evident from the above given long list. 😕 😕 😕
Now for what I have learned and what I had to unlearn…
There was this chanda maangne waala (random fund-raiser) at the door and I told Lady Friday to tell them I’m not home. Lil Love comes running from nowhere and shouts at the top of her voice, “Don’t Ever Lie. Isn’t that what you told us?“
I quietly stood up and went and had to attend to them, though I didn’t want to. 😦
The other day this movie Chillar Party was coming on Star Plus HD and this is one movie I would love to watch anytime and every time. I asked Mr. Right to increase the volume as I was in the kitchen and couldn’t hear anything properly. Anu stands up and shouts, “Don’t Put the TV volume over 15 or else I’ll put it off.” 😦
One Friday, I reached home with a TGIF expression on my face and after getting fresh I sat down with a packet of Kurkure, only to be told by Anu and Lil Love unanimously, “Don’t have crunchy munchies after 6.00 pm, you’ll not have space for dinner then.” There goes my packet of Kurkure back into the storage cabinet. 😦
Mr. Right and I had a difference of opinion on a certain issue and we started arguing on the same. Do I have to state what happened next? 😐
I hate cooking (especially in summers) and I do so only because there’s nobody else to take it up. Somehow I gathered the courage to get into serious cooking this particular weekend and decided on Mutton Nahari, a dish Anu can’t resist at all. Being summer, I took up all my veggies and sat down on the living room floor to chop them, so I could get some AC effect too. After chopping I went into the kitchen and started the preparation. Midway, Lil Love comes, with her wet eyes and screams, “Why have you messed up the house? “
I smilingly told her, “Mamma is working in the kitchen. So Lil Love and Anu Di can help Mamma by cleaning up the mess. Isn’t it?“
Bang comes the reply, “One should do his/her own work.“
I was upset but not angry, till I saw a giggling Mr. Right. 😡 😕 😡
After lunch, I thought of catching up on FB and do some net surfing, so took my Lappie and sat (rather lied down) on the bed cozily in the blanket with the AC switched on. Four little legs enter the room and tell me, “Bedroom is for sleeping and sleeping only.” 😐
Mondays are usually quite busy for me with the start of the week and the weekly vegetable market. After all of it, I was so damn tired that I decided to skip the evening shower and went to bed in my formals. “You should not go to bed in your formal wear. Who said this?” They actually made me take a shower and change into night wear. 🙂
All I learned from all this is to not have any rules in the rule book of parenting, if you are unable to stick to it. 😐
What I unlearned? That I am the director of this play named, Ghar Ghar (Ghar in Hindi means Home).
The directors are the young and the enthusiastic Anu and Lil Love, as they have the complete support of Mr. Right, the producer, co-producers (grandparents) and of course, the spot girl, me. All because they aren’t wrong at all. They only reminded me of my own rules. 🙂