Sibling Squabbles

Based on a beautiful peace shared by one of my closest friends…

Sibling Squabble
Sibling Squabble

Most parents of my generations are opting out of parenthood or are choosing to have only one child. Their argument, “We wouldn’t be able to give time to the kid/kids.”

Contrary to this popular trend, me and my husband chose to have two children for a variety of reasons. But the most important and obvious reason for me was that my child should not be a loner, considering the fact that both me and my husband are out of the house for almost 11-14 hours in a day.

If someone asks me this question,

Does your child need a sibling?

My answer would be a definite YES. Bold, underlined, highlighted and the biggest ever font size. 🙂

He/she should have a sibling:

– to learn to fight for survival
– to understand the importance of sharing and caring
– to walk up to in times of need
– to have somebody back home he/she can truly call as his/her own

My sister and I have been like the two hands of a clock, which have now got separated geographically owing to the institution of marriage. But, till date, the smallest moment of excitement, the tiniest problem, and I call her up or SMS her. Even for the simplest of all, like choosing which saree to wear to a marriage, or which dishes to make for a get-together she wouldn’t be a part of, I would prefer to call her up. She knows a lot of my life’s happenings which my parents aren’t aware of. She’s a cute little toy I confide in.

Not that we never fought…we used to have the wildest arguments, pillow fights, even a little bit of negativity owing to jealousy…in essence we were a purely normal set of siblings and have grown through the cycle of evolution over the years. But, hats off to our mother, who single-handedly dealt with the two of us and never ever made any of us feel subjected to partial treatment. Love you tons, Amma! 🙂

Now, I am at a stage in life where I am dealing with my 7 year-old and 4 year-old. I had always had the impression that labour pain is the severest pain in the world. Trust me, it is not. Dealing with the daily fights of your toddlers, their endless arguments, sometimes harmless, sometimes not so harmless, leaves you feeling like a pendulum being hit by iron balls from both sides (don’t remember the name of the Physics experiment though…Sigh!!!) :-(. Labour ended within few hours, but this one’s increasing day by day. 😦 How I wish I had half my Mom‘s intelligence and patience in handling kids. 😦

I know it is absolutely normal for siblings to be competitive. A healthy competition is fine, but unhealthy competition is what makes me go crazy. I seriously feel that when upset with each other, they’ll be seeing the other partner like the American bulldog, Spike, in the cartoon series Tom and Jerry. It’s fine till they are Tom and Jerry, but it goes out of control when one of them steps into Spike’s shoe. Most of the times, I lose my temper and they get their share of ‘snacks’ and then it’s peace temporarily. But, lately I have started enjoying some of these fights and I end up smiling pleasantly like Jerry. 😉 😉 😉

That's Anu, Love and Me :-)
That’s Anu, Love and Me 🙂

Jokes apart, I have tried out anything and everything from scolding, pinching, punishing, not speaking, locking them up, no television, no chocolates…but what works is getting into their fight and showing them how a third person gets benefited and enjoys their fight. It actually works. 🙂 😀 😉

The only thing to be careful of is: Do not take sides. Just be a Thaali ka baingan’…which means: be like a brinjal (eggplant), which when kept on a plate, keeps rolling over to all sides. In short, Be Diplomatic. 🙂 😉 😀

How I wish they don’t get to read this till they are mothers themselves. 😉 😉 😉

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14 Replies to “Sibling Squabbles”

  1. ABSOLUTELY YES.
    Hands down agreed with your opinion

    In my opinion, two huge reasons for that:
    1. To understand the importance of SHARING & CARING.
    2. To walk together in times of need.

  2. Loved it,…The way you have written…

    I strongly believe on what you have written. And as per my experience when your mom and dad leaves you all alone its your siblings with whom you share the same feeling which no one else will ever understand that loss other than your own brother or sister.

    1. Thanks, Chechi! Yes. It is indeed important to have someone to share and care. I keep telling this to the naughty girls whenever they come running and screaming, “Why did you give birth to her? “, “Why did we need her at all?”. I guess I too would hav asked similar questions to Amma. 🙂

      But deep down I know they both care for each other. That’s the only thing that makes me calm.

  3. reminded me of my childhood days, I used to fight with my sister all the time but we were always there for each other when it was needed :). Nice post 🙂

  4. This was such a cute post especially for someone like me who enjoys seeing his wife and sis in law have their fights, break ups and make ups all in the course of a few hours, and more so for someone like me who is an only child, but has never missed a sibling courtesy one crazy close cousin and two unbelievably close friends for life.

    BTW, the Physics experiment that you are talking about is called Newton’s Cradle. Wiki it and you will realize it is quite an interesting experiment by itself 😀

  5. Having a sibling has many pluses.
    Having said that, and speaking from experience, it’s also a BIG advantage to have really close friends with whom you share genuinely sibling-like relationships.

  6. Hi Rekha..a wonderful post…every one who has had a sibling knows how important it is to have a life long partner in crime.But in spite of knowing that some of us like me hesitate when it comes to having more than one kid….the question is how much justice you can do to a kid as a parent.. ..I have blogged it here a while ago…
    http://confusedhumanity.wordpress.com/2013/09/24/only-child/
    It is not that I want to deny my daughter the simple joy of having a sibling, it just that i don’t want to end up messing the life of two kids but proving a inefficient parent…:(

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