Help Your Child Build Self Confidence

“In the end we’re all just chalk lines on the concrete
Drawn only to be washed away
For the time that I’ve been given
I am what I am”

~ Five Finger Death Punch

All five fingers are not the same. Right???

Similarly, no two kids can be exactly the same. They all vary in different aspects. 

  • Some are extroverts; others introverts.
  • Some are confident; others shy and insecure.
  • Some are gifted and talented; some are not (though I personally believe everyone is talented in one way or the other)
  • Some are courteous; others are not.
  • Some are adaptable; others are not.
  • Some are creative; others not as much.
  • Some are adventurous; some are insecure.

The crux is a class of 40 students will not have any two similar kids.


Aaryan (name changed) gave his 10th Standard CBSE exams this year. An average student he was. He didn’t speak anything about the exams to his friends or parents. Nor did he wait for the results to be out.

He just tried to Quit. By God’s grace he survived.

His parents are clueless as to why he took such a drastic step. According to them, he was a very good child and they have never burdened him with high expectations. His teachers too are as much shocked and surprised by his act. The family is now having regular counselling sessions with one of the most successful Child Therapists.


What are we to LEARN from this unfortunate incident?

Children today are increasingly burdened by the competition with peers, expectations of parents/teachers and lack of time to realize self-worth. Poor things are just running and running, because they are conditioned from the beginning to just run because everybody’s running. Nobody is asking them (1) if they actually want to do what they are doing, (2) or if they have any other interests apart from what the school selects for them, or their parents want them to do.

In all this, the ‘ME’ in the child gets supressed, suffocated and finally lost somewhere deep inside.

We as parents and teachers, should make it a point to encourage them for the smallest deed/win (of course for them), be it drawing a straight line, or collecting pebbles, or sketching an elephant (though most of the time it looks like a cross between a pug and a rhino). 🙂 It makes them swell with pride. You can immediately see their eyes twinkling like stars. Oh I just love watching them. 🙂 🙂 🙂

We should spend time with them, and actually be with them in whatever they do. Not just studies.

I used to get irritated and scare my kids away when they used to come running and screaming about their day when I entered home in the eve after a day at work. I slowly realized they started keeping themselves aloof. Stopped sharing. The excitement was all gone. My fault. 😦

On a friend’s advice, since the past one year, as soon as I entered home I became just their Mother and nothing else.

We shell peas and chop veggies together, we make omlettes, we study together, we paint, we pluck flowers, we drink milk and have ice-cream together…my house is messy all the time, but I am just loving it. I am reliving my childhood thru theirs. 🙂

I must tell you there is hell lot of difference in my kids then and now. They tell me everything from their fights, what their friends told them, how the teacher treated them, who tried to bully them, and a long non-ending list that they wish to share. My elder one was so shy and insecure that she has cried everyday for two continuous years of her initial schooling days. Her teacher always used to have just one complaint:

“Ananya is good at studies, painting and computers. But, she doesn’t come up with answers, doesn’t share her queries, doesn’t have any friends, doesn’t participate in any team activities and always stays quiet. “

It used to pain me a lot to see my daughter behave unlike other kids.

But, today I am proud to say, with the help of her father, sister, grandparents and a little bit of this Bad Mommy, she has improved significantly. She is confident in raising her doubts with the teacher, she participates in extra-curricular activities, she shares her feelings and most of all she Smiles. I just love her smile. 🙂 😀 🙂

When I told one of her teachers, Ms. Sangeetha, that my second daughter is absolutely normal and chirpy unlike Ananya (can’t believe I said that 😦 ), she said,

“Ananya too is an absolutely normal child. She just needs some time. Our moods also vary from day to day. Isn’t it???”

She’s the one who made me realize that post Lavanya’s entry into our lives, we have all considered Ananya as an elder child and by default wanted her to be a responsible one. She indeed is a very responsible child. What we didn’t realize was that she was only 2 and a half years elder to Love. Poor Kid! 😦

I don’t want another Aaryan episode happen to any one of us. And so, I pledge to be one among the kids and try to understand their point of view before asserting mine. End of the day, I’ll atleast know what is going on in their minds.

Wishing you a funtastic looooooooonnnnnnnnggggg weekend with your lil ones… 🙂

Sayonara 😀



3 Replies to “Help Your Child Build Self Confidence”

  1. Fundoo…. a very nice update on child-rearing.. and yes, as you say, when you become kids and come to their level, then life is really fun.. the problem with us working mothers is that we have too little time and so much to do that it becomes very difficult.. It is just that extra effort which counts… 🙂

  2. I truly agree with you….I think we all start treating or expecting that they should behave as grown up once their younger one steps in.We forget that they need to be treated as kids.We do have our shares of pre-teen fights as Ananya is 12 years old but i know whatever happens she always shares her thoughts with me.

  3. Dear I never considered Ninu elder to Lov; told many times she’s only 3, She’s only 5 nobody listened to me.Still remember the blank face of my Ninu on her first day at Neo Kids and still my eyes fills whenever I remember that face anyways now hope all is fine enjoy dear I too have started hugging and playing with my lil one he laughs like anything at that time and am too happy 🙂

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