If experience is the best teacher, it’s because natural consequences are the best punishments.
The other day saw lil Love throwing a wooden toy at Anu. Couldn’t wait for the act to be over and hence flew in and stopped the toy from hurting Anu. As a reflex action, slapped Love. In a fit of anger, gave her few more. 1, 2, 3, and so it went. Repenting now.
I know I am a bad mother. 😦
Anyway, I loose my temper easily while dealing with kids…one reason I opted out of the Teaching Profession my mother so badly wanted me to take up.
Tell me now, what is the best way to punish?
Scolding, Beating or Silence?
Just pondering over few situations from my life so far.
I was 3+. My parents paid a visit to a family friend and I had abused their only son with something that can be abbreviated to BC/MC. Thanks to my childhood which I spent amidst the top-notch gaalis on the streets of Tilak Nagar. 😀
My Dad beat me up then and there. But, the truth is after that day, I never uttered those words and actually forgot them completely until I reached college and the fellow boys in our batch used to abuse each other as though bestowing an honour.
I was 9. Dad was here with us on one of his vacations, and we were enjoying our evening in the balcony coz of the sudden power cut. Mom asked me to bring in the Emergency Light. I went inside the house with a small torch and located the subject atop the fridge. While trying to get it down, it crashed onto the floor and broke irreparably. I was feeling too bad about it , when Mom rushed in and started shouting, “Your Dad slogs in the desert to get things for you and this is what you do for him”.
I went to the balcony and told Dad about the broken piece feeling really sorry about it. He only said, “That’s okay.”
I never felt bad about Mom’s harsh words, but the fact that my Dad did’t even scold me had a great impact on me. 😦
Priya, a friend of mine, chose to get married to a guy outside their community. Of course, he was the best for her even as per her Dad, who gets them married and accepts his son-in-law, who turns out to be more than a son. But uncle shows Priya a cold shoulder for almost 2 years till she was diagnosed with a malignant tumor. She had the best of everything, but was struggling within. This I would say, is the most painful punishment. She didn’t survive.
Thinking of it still makes me so very sentimental. Can’t stop my tears even now… 😦
All this makes me conclude that there is no right or wrong way of punishing. It varies from situation to situation and individual to individual.
Silence speaks more than Words anytime.
Would love to know your take on this.
P.S – By the way, with all this, don’t misunderstand that my Mom never scolded us or beat us up. She was extremely impartial to the extent that she used to punish both us equally even if one of us was on the wrong side…one thing I really admire about her. But she’s such a sweet heart that we could make her cool down and cry along with us, by just screaming loudly thrice,
“Paaaapa, Paaaaaaaapa, Paaaaaaaaaapa…”
I know Emotional Blackmail, it was!!! 😀